Thursday, June 30, 2011
.....
everytime i wokeup in the morning, the first thing i do is listen to my ear piece, to check i my bby boo is still on the line. but today im listening at the earpiece and listen for like 10 min qfter i woke up, and i realise that she's not on the line. i called her up, and she answered and say's wake me up at 10. because today we are having a date. then i say ok. so we hung up, it kept me thinking why isnt she on the line ? then ! ohh yesterday she doesnt want to be otf, as to she says it would be so much easier to sleep if we could just txt. but for me, why i wanna be on the fone ? its simply because i want u to really fall asleep then only i could soundly fall asleep.if not i would sleep and every 10 to 15 mins later i would wake up to check on her if she's already asleep.this is the first time she doesnt wants to sleep otf with me. as for always we would be otf and will be sleeping to each others voice. i want that. :( ur voice will be the first and the last that i wanna hear before and after my sleep. as it put a smile to my face hearing ur sweet voices to sleep. yerp, i wanna hear ur voice when i before i sleep and at the time i open my eyes. i wanna hear your voice befire going to sleep is bcause before my soul goes wondering while im asleep, i want my soul to find yours when we are asleep so that they can be together even we are asleep. and why at the point when i woke up i want to hear ur voice ? bcause the voice will be the first voice that im hearing and to start my day with a wide beautiful smile. i want to start of my day with u and end it with u. because ur my everything in my life right now. i cant simply bear to leave u een for a second. i dont mind if people were to say, are you nuts or a freak or what so ever they wanna say about me being this way. its my life im heading btw, and it doesnt bother any if u guys and ur life, and this girl is mine and she belongs to me forever. and that is the reason why im doing all this. i dont know if my doing is too much, but to my point of view its alright and just perfect. i would be tge first human being to pop out frol nowhere if someone out there tries to be funny or tries to get close to my love. i will be her devil to your very eyes. im gonna give my gurl the protection she needs from a man, to feel secured and safe around with. and im doing it. i love her so much that im willing to do anything for her. and no regrets and second thoughts. bby this love just keep coming more and more and even deeply every day every second and every walk of my life. i want u and only. i promise u there will be nobody else that could replace u. ur the one and only girl thats perfect in my eyes and fit in my life. this blog here will be my proof and witness.bby i wanna marry you ! <3
:(
what did i just do ? what wrong did i just did ? till she hang up. i dont know whats my mistake. is it webcam blank screen ? or my way of talking or what ever it is? idk ! i dont fucking know whats the matter is. couldnt be just because cannot be webcam and she hang up on me ?! i really need to know whats the matter. i hate it when people hang up the phone like that. then nvm i txt and nvr reply. k fine. go to sleep, i know ur tired. i understand u. i even ask u to take a rest first after ur scan. cause i know ur gonna be tired and shag but yea its ok. nvm me. im fine with it no hard feelings. i understans ur situation. just txt or call me when ur awake or free. i'll be waiting.no matter what ily bby boo.<3
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
oh god.
ya allah ya tuhan ku, berikan la dier kekuatan untuk menghadapi dugaan dan cabaran di dunia ini. kau selamatkan la dier dari segala musibah, elakkn dari segala syaitan dan iblis. kau kuat kn la iman dier untuk menjalani hidup nya. ya allah ya tuhan ku. aku memohon dan merayu kepada mu ya allah. amin ~
:)
sejak hari itu, kiter berkenalan. tidak diduga bahawa kiter akan ketemu, tapi dengan kuasa allah ia yg menentukan persahabatan kiter. pada waktu itu kita berdua tidak ade niat untuk bekenalan dengan sesiapa pon. tetapi entah macam maner ntah tergerak ati saya untuk menghubungi satu sama lain. aku memberikan diri satu lagi perluang untuk menyintai seseorang. dan ku coba. we cntcted each other, we started it well. everything when smooth. but the only thing is she's attch. ok den i'll just txt her and try not to cntct her that often. cause im scared that i will spoilt her show. so i juat txt her as and when needed to. and not to always cntct her. but then i cant. my fingers are ichy, feel kike cntcting her everyday. as day goes by, our friendship is becoming stronger. i feel like she's my girl. but then again she's attched. we cntcted each for long. then i started to fall for her. i will have this butterfly in my stomach everytime i saw her. cause from what i know is that im starting to fall for her. only she doesnt know it. thats te reason why everytime i saw her i will peep instead of looking right at her straight. day by day i started to feel the love. im loving her, omg ! im falling for her badly. but i just dont know how to approach her. im that shy type of person at first meet. so idk how to start off. then i just keep cntcting her. try to give her hints that im in love with her. so many time i got the chance to tell her i would be shivering not knowing how to tell her. but i just keep on in touch with her for years. i een remember the day where we use to chat and webcam with each other . and i started to give her hints, by saying imy at the end of the converasation. im so shy to type it out. thats y i type and log off and head to camp as im still serving army.ohhh the feeling, when i see her face. makes me wanna hug her so much. ohhh god. im praying that i could have her in my arms. years past. finish my ns. txt her randomly. then it gets even more stronger. i love her ohh god ! pls help me. everytime im not txting her i will feel like something is missing. then i set up a date, a good date to tell her my feelings. and to say that i wanna be with her.
haish~ i cant continue on, its very overwhelming the feeling. theres so much to say here. my finger are cramp already. i just praying to god that he will keep us together and guide us thru all sort of prob. im very grateful that i have her now. im giving my everything. even my life. :'))) i cant carry on. it would make me cry. guess i'll carry on later. gtg . back to work. praying that todays ct scan for her will be good so that she could start her work soon. i love u siti suriana binte misti. ur so adorable, i cant even take my eyes of u even for a second. and i tak
haish~ i cant continue on, its very overwhelming the feeling. theres so much to say here. my finger are cramp already. i just praying to god that he will keep us together and guide us thru all sort of prob. im very grateful that i have her now. im giving my everything. even my life. :'))) i cant carry on. it would make me cry. guess i'll carry on later. gtg . back to work. praying that todays ct scan for her will be good so that she could start her work soon. i love u siti suriana binte misti. ur so adorable, i cant even take my eyes of u even for a second. and i tak
Monday, June 27, 2011
dear dear
i love looking at our pictures. everytime i miss u i will take a look at our picture. hahaah! like now.i wanted to wake u up. but i dont want,ur tired, we stayed up late last night.i dont want to sleep cause ur awake. havent i told myself try not to fall asleep on u again.yes i tried real hard yesterday.untill my face looks like im mad.
k la eh.u will confirm come across this post.so its best that i just say it. actually im abit mad.wanna know why? sebab smlm i ade la tahan2 ngantok, nak teman u, i tried to stay up,doing all sort of things. make coffee luh,smoke all, but i was expecting you to talk to me or play games with me or anything as long as it keeps me awake.but u chat with your friends,and u even tell me to go to sleep.cant u see im trying to stay awake to be with u.and y am i doing that? y cant i just got to sleep instead of staying awake? because imy, i wanna hear ur voice ,ur laughter,ur smile,ur face.everything about u makes wonders in my life. a bad cold day could turn warm and bright just by looking,talking,hearing u, what more if i could cuddle and hug u.that would really make my day.and lagi pon, i wont sleep untill ur asleep, unless im really tired and sleepy after trying to stay awake.and i intend to fall asleep on u again and again and again. and every time i do that,i will feel bad,very bad.
i sometimes too wonders if i say sorry,how many times must i say but still doing it?! i will get frastrated will myself. so from my very previous post, saying that i try not o fall aslepp on u again. and this time i really try.and i dont like this, i sleep and u chat with others.especially guy friends. and lagi2 if im otf or video calling u and u chat with ur guy friends,me just staring at the screen looking at u.i know u never did that, but im telling u beforehand.and i dont like u to cntct ur ex's that makes me fucking pissed off~ jgn amek ati tau. i cume bilang je semue.post mcmni pon air mata meleleh.i love u more than anything baby <3.
ps.just dont do the things that i hate,and u wont see that mad face on me anymore. :)
and sorry if there is any false statement her,or ade yg menyakit kn ati u.this is my feelings and i just wanna let it out.like i say"kiter tk akan sedar kesilapan kiter melainkn seseorang itu menegur kiter"
k la eh.u will confirm come across this post.so its best that i just say it. actually im abit mad.wanna know why? sebab smlm i ade la tahan2 ngantok, nak teman u, i tried to stay up,doing all sort of things. make coffee luh,smoke all, but i was expecting you to talk to me or play games with me or anything as long as it keeps me awake.but u chat with your friends,and u even tell me to go to sleep.cant u see im trying to stay awake to be with u.and y am i doing that? y cant i just got to sleep instead of staying awake? because imy, i wanna hear ur voice ,ur laughter,ur smile,ur face.everything about u makes wonders in my life. a bad cold day could turn warm and bright just by looking,talking,hearing u, what more if i could cuddle and hug u.that would really make my day.and lagi pon, i wont sleep untill ur asleep, unless im really tired and sleepy after trying to stay awake.and i intend to fall asleep on u again and again and again. and every time i do that,i will feel bad,very bad.
i sometimes too wonders if i say sorry,how many times must i say but still doing it?! i will get frastrated will myself. so from my very previous post, saying that i try not o fall aslepp on u again. and this time i really try.and i dont like this, i sleep and u chat with others.especially guy friends. and lagi2 if im otf or video calling u and u chat with ur guy friends,me just staring at the screen looking at u.i know u never did that, but im telling u beforehand.and i dont like u to cntct ur ex's that makes me fucking pissed off~ jgn amek ati tau. i cume bilang je semue.post mcmni pon air mata meleleh.i love u more than anything baby <3.
ps.just dont do the things that i hate,and u wont see that mad face on me anymore. :)
and sorry if there is any false statement her,or ade yg menyakit kn ati u.this is my feelings and i just wanna let it out.like i say"kiter tk akan sedar kesilapan kiter melainkn seseorang itu menegur kiter"
Friday, June 24, 2011
shawal
shawal here, im working as a technician now. my life and life style had change now, but change for the better. i have a good job, a wonderful gf which never fail to make me smile.a healthy lifestyle. no more of heavy drinking and a frequent clubbing. ive stop that.thinking for my future my future family. future life. my gf suriana, she will be my life time partner. no second thoughts and no regrets. she love kids, and i can see that she will be a good mother to my children in future. im planning to get engage next year. fot her and myself, we are aging and time is passing pass fast. and its not good to keep her waiting an fake promises. i want to prove to her that she is the only want i need. she is the only one that i wanna wake up in the morning and look at. she's the only want that i want to hug most, she the only one i wanna love most. im gonna shower her with every single drop of love in me. she is the only human that i wanna be with and no others. i dont need a gorgeous women, a perfect lady, a rich girl or a nice body women. all i need is a lady that can show me that she love me, give the love, respect, understanding, caring , and loving. thats all. and she's the perfect one in my eyes now and forever. i dont mind what others wanna say about me or us. i really dont mind. i dont mind ur past, or people saying about ur past. cause now i know u, im with u. i got the present u and not ur past. ur my present and future. and i know too that u change a lot, change as in the way u treat ur guy, from ur previous and up till now. i can see that u change for good. ur much more feminine. and the only thing for us is to learn how to give and take. we cant afford to have fire handle fire. we need water to fight fire. so thats all i want from u now, and not more than that. i wish that we could adapt to each other well. blend with each other too. feel each other feelings, understand each other.respect each others decision,gave the love that we had, be faithful, respect one another, listen to one another,thats all im asking for, nothing more. and for now every time i wake up, u get to open up my eyes, i will say "thank god for all that u had gave to me, no matter small or big, im greatfull to it. and i also wish that we will be forever and u to have a happy life and good health. cos im always worried for ur health. if im not worrued for it then there will be no you. i dont want u to always fall sick. cause that will make u very weak and soft. i want my gf to be happy, smilling and laughing and heading a good life ahead. bby i love u syg ! -<3 shawal
Thursday, June 23, 2011
worried
i risau. bukan nye ape. im just worried. fucking worried. im woried for ur safety, im worried for u. im
worried for almost everything when ur not with me. haish~ hope ur gonna be fine.if anything happen i will
follow.
worried for almost everything when ur not with me. haish~ hope ur gonna be fine.if anything happen i will
follow.
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
plan ahead
hey ! ive plan something good for our monthsary. this month we didnt get to actually celebrate it so next month is going to be great. ive plan something. cant wait ! can i do it in advance ?lol !
up till now ive not been doing anything at work. no mood. tsk.haha ! g mampos.
up till now ive not been doing anything at work. no mood. tsk.haha ! g mampos.
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
<3
ur my inspiration, ur my motivation.
ur my inspiration to look far ahead
ur my motivation in my every steps i made.i wont forget those helping hands that u offer me when i fall on every steps of my life.
i'll do what ever it takes to make u happy, i wont change the way i love you.i dont believe that slowly things will change like how we would think. because i wont change my heart to whom im loving at, to whom my heart belongs to. people might say that im bullshitting, but im gonna prove to them that i wont let that happen. im still the same me. maybe something had change abit, due to my sleeping timing, where i will get tired easily. yeah now then i realise that how hard it is to be in a workjng world. its not easy. it might seems to be easy but actual fact it isnt. i wish that u could tell me whatbis the things that u thot that we are not the same, any problems that we encounter and so fourth. telling each other the problem can help solve the situation. because we wont know whats our own mistake is unless the other party told us what exactly it is. then only we can ammend to it. i dont mind u telling me my bad behaviour. indeed i like it. seriously. so pls anything pls do tell me about my own behaviour pls. i wanna know. i wanna know what is the thing that will make a change in our relationship. im very serious in this relationship. all those hard and thin i will go thru with u. no matter what i will always be by ur side. and 1 thing for sure what i realise is, last time i use to stay awake with u untill u are asleep, but lately i tend to fall asleep on u and let u be alone at night, while u coundnt sleep. i know that, i know that i tens to fall asleep everytime, i try hard to stay awake and accompany u till ur asleep.i tried, i even try to fix the spoilt laptop even tho it couldnt be fix just to stay awake. bby if ur reading this :'( eventually im crying now saying this, bcause i feel bad everytime i fall asleep on u and let u stay all up alone. im really2 sorry i mean it, i know i might say sorry alot of time and still do it. but ive tried to stay awake. walau ape pon. i wont give up, i'll find other ways to make me stay awake. and maybe im tired, working the whole day. nevertheless i will try to teman u sampai u tdo mcm dulu. i know ive been sleeping on u, i realise it. but ive also tried to be awake . idk if u realise it. nvm im telling now. u will also be like me, feel tired and ect. when u have start working dear. i hope u understand me bby. im really devastated in myself. i feel so useless for my doing. where is my responsibility as a bf. this is only bf, what more when i become ur husband. thats a more big responsibility. but im always ready for it. im willing to take the challenge. every problem in my life i take it as a challege for me to overcome it n not for it to be over me. by that my life is ruin. every challenge has ade maksud di sebalik nye. so bby pls forgive me. i promise try not to fall asleep on u again starting from today onwards. i try k. I WILL ALWAYS BE LOVING U SYG ! :'( looking forward to meet u today. cant wait. im still missing u badly.
ur my inspiration to look far ahead
ur my motivation in my every steps i made.i wont forget those helping hands that u offer me when i fall on every steps of my life.
i'll do what ever it takes to make u happy, i wont change the way i love you.i dont believe that slowly things will change like how we would think. because i wont change my heart to whom im loving at, to whom my heart belongs to. people might say that im bullshitting, but im gonna prove to them that i wont let that happen. im still the same me. maybe something had change abit, due to my sleeping timing, where i will get tired easily. yeah now then i realise that how hard it is to be in a workjng world. its not easy. it might seems to be easy but actual fact it isnt. i wish that u could tell me whatbis the things that u thot that we are not the same, any problems that we encounter and so fourth. telling each other the problem can help solve the situation. because we wont know whats our own mistake is unless the other party told us what exactly it is. then only we can ammend to it. i dont mind u telling me my bad behaviour. indeed i like it. seriously. so pls anything pls do tell me about my own behaviour pls. i wanna know. i wanna know what is the thing that will make a change in our relationship. im very serious in this relationship. all those hard and thin i will go thru with u. no matter what i will always be by ur side. and 1 thing for sure what i realise is, last time i use to stay awake with u untill u are asleep, but lately i tend to fall asleep on u and let u be alone at night, while u coundnt sleep. i know that, i know that i tens to fall asleep everytime, i try hard to stay awake and accompany u till ur asleep.i tried, i even try to fix the spoilt laptop even tho it couldnt be fix just to stay awake. bby if ur reading this :'( eventually im crying now saying this, bcause i feel bad everytime i fall asleep on u and let u stay all up alone. im really2 sorry i mean it, i know i might say sorry alot of time and still do it. but ive tried to stay awake. walau ape pon. i wont give up, i'll find other ways to make me stay awake. and maybe im tired, working the whole day. nevertheless i will try to teman u sampai u tdo mcm dulu. i know ive been sleeping on u, i realise it. but ive also tried to be awake . idk if u realise it. nvm im telling now. u will also be like me, feel tired and ect. when u have start working dear. i hope u understand me bby. im really devastated in myself. i feel so useless for my doing. where is my responsibility as a bf. this is only bf, what more when i become ur husband. thats a more big responsibility. but im always ready for it. im willing to take the challenge. every problem in my life i take it as a challege for me to overcome it n not for it to be over me. by that my life is ruin. every challenge has ade maksud di sebalik nye. so bby pls forgive me. i promise try not to fall asleep on u again starting from today onwards. i try k. I WILL ALWAYS BE LOVING U SYG ! :'( looking forward to meet u today. cant wait. im still missing u badly.
Saturday, June 18, 2011
i love u.
sweetheart ! pls do take care of urself when im not around. feel lile crying now leaving u alone. dint worry as soon as i reach singapore i'll call u. dont be notty k. i promise i wont be notty. ily soo much dear. i will always think of u. lagi2 nk tdo without ur calls to sleep. ohhh tears dropping now :'(. aby ily takcare of urself k bby. arghh ILY my precious gf ! miss me look at the stars coz i will. and the fingers between urs. where i used to hold urs. gonna miss u dear. arghhh dont feel
like going. wait for my arrival k bby. ily ! argh ily ! ily ! ily ! ily ! be good k. alahai. susah la nk tgglkn u aby. haish !!! aby !!! dengar luh eh lagu more than my pride at 4 shared coz thats for u. gtg now. reaching jb soon. :'((((
like going. wait for my arrival k bby. ily ! argh ily ! ily ! ily ! ily ! be good k. alahai. susah la nk tgglkn u aby. haish !!! aby !!! dengar luh eh lagu more than my pride at 4 shared coz thats for u. gtg now. reaching jb soon. :'((((
Friday, June 17, 2011
yaya !
bbl mcm yeye. ok ok. beh biler org da apply kn semue, so jadi dier tk pyh nk come down and do all the stuff, but end up AKU jgk yg kene byr. tkpe la eh. "since abg byr phone uma abg byr skali la broadband tu, siti still got my internet to pay" pfft ! ok listen up. skrg everything on ur own. jgn dtg nk mintk tlg semue eh. cibai ! mcm nk jatoh sial
denar dier ckp "asal org plak yg kene byr" fuwahhh ! da buat kire2 tk cukup. beh ko kire2 sorg la aku tkpyh buat kire2 la eh suar! PUKI LA SIAL !!
denar dier ckp "asal org plak yg kene byr" fuwahhh ! da buat kire2 tk cukup. beh ko kire2 sorg la aku tkpyh buat kire2 la eh suar! PUKI LA SIAL !!
Monday, June 13, 2011
feel it
rays of light lit up the darkness in me ever since u enter my life. ur smile, ur laughter, ur cry, ur hug, ur every movement, makes me wanna hold u tight and love u more. never had i felt this way before. i may repeat this over and over again, but that had nvr bored or stop me from saying it again. i will ki nda felt blush , actually not blush, but thats the closes meaning i can get. everytime u looked deeply at me, stroke my hair, hold my hand, kiss my forehead, aww the feeling, i dont know how to tell and express it. only me know how it feels. u just make me feel so special, u try ur best in everything u do, give all u have. i know cause i notice it. but i dont know how ive been performing and giving love to you. i too give my best shot in everything and single thing i do. even if it cost me my time or anything, for u i dont mind. ohhh god ! pls bless our relationship, make it last long till the time come where u need us bck. pls god, i beg u. everyday i pray to god, hoping that u will be comfortable with me, might i be ur last men standing,for my other have of my dream to come true.pray for ur happiness, long life, wealth and health. not only that, but i also pray that u will get back to ur parents like how u want it to be. im praying hard to god for all that to happen and make it come true. and i hope u will stay with me , go thru all the thickess and thin of life together. i will guide u if u need someone. i will be there if u feel alone, i will be there wherever u want me to be. one thing for sure is that, u are the only soul that i love, not anyone else. i know it hard for u to give me all ur trust. but im really serious in this relationship.
thoughts.
inside a bus now,i just got back from gf house.now listening to music, look at gf photo. all of her pics. our pic. can feel the memory, the chemistry between us. i wonder if one day, i have to leave her and the world, going back to where i came from. to god. whats goingto happen to her ? can she cope the situation without me by her all the time.is she going move on with her life ? can she ? sometimes this question just appear in my mind. im scared that i will leave first, and leave her like that. im scared. because we dont know when we are going off ans end our lifes. it can happen anytime, anywhere. we cant predict when are we gonna go back to god. ohh gosh. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH.
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
true fact.
see didnt i told all of you tht its a true. im working then i sit down talk to dearest. she say she wanna rest, i said ok, then she fall asleep, snd eventually i fall asleeo too after 10 min she' fallen asleep. really. amazing. i just want you to hv ur deserve rest. uve drain all ur energy for staying awake at late night till the next morning.
doesnt feel good.
hey. yesterday was a tiring day for me. in the morning work at 8 and have to do overtime till 0630. when back to aunty house take my stuff then go back to my house. slowly walk reach home around 7 plus nearly 8. tired ! but reach home i have to clean the house, cause we just move in to our house back. but first thing in mind is bby. wait for her to be awake. then otf with her, den i start to clean up the house abit. otf with love, then she say's she wants to come over to help me clean up the house.as i know today she is having a fever, i tell her if ur sick den nevermind no need to come, but she inssisted to come. nvrmnd i try to go home early today so that i could help tidy up the place together with them. and ya ! yesterday she read my blog post, the previous one. ohhh malunye !! didnt expect her to read it so soon. but oh well she had read it. feel so ashamed. she read it to me, while on the phone. woooo ! i dont know how to put it in words, it might seems to be in a mess. but thats how my mind is at that point of time. just feel like saying everything, every single nerve inside this brain theres you. every little thing i do u will always pop out, out of nowhere.u will alwys forever be in my mind. all the memories and history of us will nvr be easily be erased. i talk bullshit ?! hahaha ! to some of you, ya i talk bullshit la, feeling2 la, sweet talk la whatever it is la eh. but in thus heart an feelings, nobody would understand it, only me and god, im always truthful and honest in a serious relationship like now. but this is for life time partner. so its much more serious. evry single day every single minute thinking of her, if she didint txt me, i would have this habit of looking at my phone for every min, serious. no more playing around for me, its time for serious business. my future ans everything, have to start thinking of it plan ahead. i am just who i am, im not interpreting others, im just behaving like how i am, just putting abit more effort to thinking how to make this love interesting as day goes by. i dont want this to be like any other ordinary love story. i want this to be a soecial one, a memoriable one. so that i could share it with my children and grandchold later in the future, for sure they will be amazed. haish. i treasure this relationship of our so much, till anything happen around me i could say"argh later la" only u, u come first in my mind. ur damn special and im damn lucky that i still have the chance to be with you. all i wanted is, be true to your love, honesty, straight foward, commitment and perseverance. and most importantly ur sincerity. ily siti suriana binte misti. *ur father name very cute eh* haha ! k gtg back to work.
Sunday, June 5, 2011
missing you~
its the third day of your holiday. the last day is always the exciting day.bcoz bby is coming back home today! yeay ! cant wait to meet her, i miss her like crazy ! for the 3 days that she's away, i kept looking at our pic, her pics. haish~ how i love to look at her. read back all our msges. at "text me" "whatsapp" "talkbox" haish. its funny tho reading back on our msges. the quarrel we had, begging all sort of stuff is inside the msges. and ya one thing for sure we are unable to sleep without each other. to me i wanna hear her voice everytime i wake up and everytime i wanna go to bed.so that even when im dreaming i can bring her along. and everytime i woke up the first voice i wanna hear is her voice. hmmm. but for this past few days ive not been sleeping well, ya as u know she's not around. my mind is always thinking about her. recently is did txt me, and even call me. see she didnt mind calling me even if she's at overseas.i can see how much she love me. :'( as i talk about her, think about her, anything regarding her, my eyes will start tearing. it just happened naturally. no matter how hard we fight or quarrel, this heart of mine will never have that give up on you attitude. this heart will still continue to love you like nvr before. im always her to support u, a shoulder to lean on ? an eye to watch on ? a listening ears ? hand to hold on ? a shoulder to cry on ? someone to be there to protect you? all of tht im willing to do it for you. with this sincere heart in loving you, im even willing to sacrifice my life for you. mark my words. i dont talk empty, if i say i'll do it tht means i will do it with no hesitation. u r too special for me to let go, too special. and i hope u to be more patience in life, learn to give and take. dont always grumble. i dont want this attitude to follow us till we get married. and yes we are planning to get married. from now on i'll be a better person, try to understand ur needs and feelings even much more deeper than anyone elses could. i love u, and ur my dream come true.ur my other half. if ur gone then im gone too. :'( i just want u to understand and know how much i love you, how deep is this love for you. how i need u so badly at times, how i need to hear you, how this soul of mind wants urs, how i need to be love to be pampered, how i wanted to share everything in my lufe with you, have bad i feel everytime u cry and fall, how mad or pissed off am i when i heard from u that someone tries to disturb you or whatever. if i got anything related to guys i will be pissed off or mad or even jealous. depend on the situation. dont tell me u wont even get jealous when someone chat or txt ur love ones. once in a while its ok, but when it keeps on coming then it not ok. everyone would feel jealous somehow. if there is no jealousy that means u dont feel the love towards ur partner. haish~ if u are reading this blog of mine, then i would like to say that I LOVE YOU SO MUCH LIKE NOBODY ELSE IN THIS WORLD ! and pls pls pls dont u ever leave me. i would rather die then getting hurt by own feelings. :'( i love u more than my pride.
Friday, June 3, 2011
memories
browsing the photo inside my phone. all those photos of her me us we both together. looking at her pictures, staring at it. look closely at her. damn ! i miss her. all these pics is a memories to me. going here and there, snap here snap there. had so much fun together, laugh, we get loud. couldnt resist each other, cuddle her. awww. i so need that now. now im feeling like, u know like both hands on her face touching every sigle detail of her face. her smooth skin and tebam cheek is soo cute on her. feel like hugging her tightly until she give up. piggy back her till lift there. she piggy back me too. we are just so sweet. loving each other. ok we do really meet each other alot. very often we meet. we go out eat ,play ,shooping and etc. but i still want more. this love just couldnt get enough. i can see tht our lovestory line is interesting, with all the challenges we have to face, bare with each others behaviour. this is the kind of relationship tht i dreamt of. and ya. i hve it now, so i hve to maintain it well. it aint easy, but the more we try n put in effort, the more and better result u will get. k i guess i'll continue on later if i still cant sleep.
apesal nan aku ?
apesal aku gembeng ni ? sikit2 nangis sikit nangis. ... yup i know. aku, when it comes to this aku memang gembeng nak mampos. now the room is in a mess. everything had been thrown by me. whatever i could find and reach thats near me, i'll throw. arghh !!
omg !
omg omg !!! im fucking shaking, hand hand are all shivering, as if i just saw a ghost. or mayb. nvm. but i scared. i think its astmah. ar nevermind, not a big deal. my heart beat is super duper fast. it seems like something is wrong. something is not right somewhere. i can sense it. just couldnt figure it out what is it. hmm. i think im very stubborn, just follow my saying without reLising others needs. just couldbt follow what other is saying, is it SHAWAL ?!! isnt it simple just follow and thats it, try listening to others will ya SHAWAL ?!?! im very angry with ya shawal !. shawal, you stupid mother fucker !! STUPID UNCIVILISED BARBERIAN !! arggghhh !!!!
omg !
omg omg !!! im fucking shaking, hand hand are all shivering, as if i just saw a ghost. or mayb. nvm. but i scared.
:'(
my chest is effing painful. dont know why today i feel so down. hmmm. tsk~ idk why. for no reason. haish. bye !
not in the mood
hey today dont have mood to do anything. my eye lid swollen, stomache, headache, cannot sleep. tak tau asal ar. bye mls nk type.
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
different mindset
morning ! working now. there's something about me that i notice. after working at SP only for 3 days, my minset is already different. im feeling like im an working adult. my surroundings are all those old timer that have work here for 20 over years. they are the one that make me feel that i should continue on working here. their stories, past history, without qualification. just imagine, these people dont have the require qualification like i have. but during their times, its ok. but now the are learning part time diploma. cant u see, they still want to study. they still want to upgrade their skills. how am i amazed by them. but most of all, this girl siti suriana is the one who push me, motivate me, inspired me. if not because of her i dont think i would be here saying all these wonderful stuff. i would like to thank my gf, she's been there for me all the time, giving me morale support, help in whatever ways she can, cry for me, a caring gf i have, very understanding and lovingly lovely. words is not enough to express this feelings. dont bother about the small prob, argument, miss understanding, miss communication. thats all part and parcel of being in a relationship. if there is a prob or whatsoever, rectify it first, think of a solution and solve it, and thats what im doing :) . not just jump to conclusion which wont benefit both parties. and most importantly DONT GIVE UP ! dont let ur life cntrl u, instead u should be the one that contrl ur life, plan ur future properly, look far and up. dont look down and die. she's the one that ive been looking for, god had meet me with her, and now its my job to take care of her, make her feel comfortable with me and make her happy like a princess. got lots more to say, but soon its lunch time. so i guess i'll continue next time. byies !!
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