hen sad eh

hey long time never blog ar.
currently busy,yar perhaps always busy.sorry to my friends that i cant hang out with you guys.
yeah,for 3 years, i repeat 3 years i've not celebrate hari raya.damn sad seh.
wish to celebrate it with family but just didn't get the chance to.

current i not contacting anybody,all alone at home,after bookout,stay put at home.
very lazy to go out,or maybe no one asking me out.haha
saving money.lol! save money want to go for a trip to japan.really wish to be there.
craving to go japan.maybe next year after i finish with my national service.hur!

im wondering,am i a bad friend? as you know,its not easy to be a good friend of your friend.now no friend.all had gone their own ways.follow their own path of future.
*wait need to go to wash room haha..be back.
back! haha.

ok.where am i ..ok yesterday went for navigation.where we were to find checkpoint,but its inside a jungle.its shack but i have so much fun,as i and my section mate go thru tough and tireness together.all the team work.
we climb hills bash thru thick vegetation,wow so nuch fun.as im the adventurest type of person.but its not easy ok.we have to carry about 10 to 20 kg of load with us everywhere we go.hmm yeah

guess up till here.maybe updating in a while more.just too much to say in a post ok chiowz!!

!!ouch!!

jyeah!.haha! just got back just now at 9.woah! damn tired.when for a drink.at first i was alone,then i called everyone one my contact,just not my luck everyone's busy.then my last resort is to call my cousin.(they are only aged 15(fir) and 16(naz) ).so bad of me.hehe.ask them to come over to my place,for a drink.was like,anxious to know are they going to come or not.they say ok!,i go wuhu!!haha.delighted man.if not i'll be a alone.

waiting for them,while waiting.i take pic2.haha.cam whoring(mcm pompan).
they just got back from work.started off very good,didn't know that fir can drink alot.we drank and drank and drank,and there goes my cousin,bam!! fall.(LOL!!).he fall like a humpty bumppy.hahaha!!.he vomited.his brother naz was ok,his the noisiest of all.time for them to go.whisper*(tmrw skool ehk? )hehe.

lefted me alone drink by myself,getting bored.text peepz....yeah...drink2 until finish,drunk.lay down.wake up back.wanna go home.walk and walk......bang!! hit a tree..LOL!!! fuck shit.stupid rite walk with one eyes close.hahaa.counldn't forget it.thot of it,i would laugh it out.haish.what a day.and today at 4 must get back to camp.such a boring duty to do.hmmm. guess that's it,till then.
will blog soon as i got back.chalo!

too damn bored

heey back agian.
as there nothing much for me to do yesterday and today.
been spending my entire 2 days off at home looking at lappy...
damn bored,no life.nothing is happening..
feel very alone and lonely.
stressed up,fucked up,demoralised.everything la.
later on going out,go wondering around with my body,go wherever my leg is taking me to.
feel like having another round.
yesterday already drunk alone at home.like stupid
today go drink again,dont know where.
very devastated.going to get very drunk.drunkard junkkid.hahaha
k la gtg.blog again when back home tmrw.

!!hahaa!!

WE KISSED

Author: Avery L Pesce

By the waters of that lovely lake
we stood and watched the storm.
Our eyes upon the blackened sky,
as the rain began to fall.

With a gentle sigh you took my hand
and pulled me in, so close.
Our pulses, beating a rhythm of passion
as the lightning split the sky.

You gazed into my eyes, so bright
and gently caressed my face.
Your soothing touch entrancing me
as the thunder rumbled above.

And while the storm raged in the heavens,
we kissed, our hearts aflame.
Our lips, warm with the heat of desire
as the wind tore through the trees.

And by the waters of that lovely lake
our lips embraced once more.
Two souls aglow with passion and love,
as the rain began to fall.

crazy ar zain.he txt me this poem..huhur!

!!didn't get it why!!

acually not in the mood to blog.but too stress.just wanna let everything out.
today was a total cork up.everything just fall on me,like a heavy rain fall.
feel like a total useless person.i just couldn't get everything right.
like stuck in the middle of the road and waiting to be run over.
so fucked up! why is this thing happening to me? i had enough.not only on work but my personal life too.it's so....bang!,windmill hit my head over and over telling me to buck up.argh! dont know what else to do and to rely on.so lonely,handling everything by my own.feel like giving up and let all the stupid dumb shit happen to me.and dont care whats going to happen just let it happen.

and some more this month is a very memoriable month fer me.i will always remember this month.coz..its so sad.this is the month that my late loved father left me.it might sound normal to others,but to me its different.since im born till the age of 13 then i get to meet with my father.it's been awhile that i've been searching for him.met him,hug him tightly.i really miss him more than anyone else.we talk to each other bout life.he said he MISS me so much.he didn't quiet have the time shower me with all his love that he had kip.and weeks after that,he just..
*cumon shawal dont start it.tears start to shred already sia.
he just left me like that.that point of time when he was awarded to hospital,he desperately wants to meet me.but i couldn't made it.it was such a big mistake for me,feel damn stupid of me.the day after he pass away.and i was like crying and cryin endlessly.never cried like that bad before.argh miss u daddy u r one and only my love.feel so down now.he left,i kissed his forehead and don wanna let go of him..shit damn me..
argh!!hard to carry on... :<