!!didn't get it why!!

acually not in the mood to blog.but too stress.just wanna let everything out.
today was a total cork up.everything just fall on me,like a heavy rain fall.
feel like a total useless person.i just couldn't get everything right.
like stuck in the middle of the road and waiting to be run over.
so fucked up! why is this thing happening to me? i had enough.not only on work but my personal life too.it's so....bang!,windmill hit my head over and over telling me to buck up.argh! dont know what else to do and to rely on.so lonely,handling everything by my own.feel like giving up and let all the stupid dumb shit happen to me.and dont care whats going to happen just let it happen.

and some more this month is a very memoriable month fer me.i will always remember this month.coz..its so sad.this is the month that my late loved father left me.it might sound normal to others,but to me its different.since im born till the age of 13 then i get to meet with my father.it's been awhile that i've been searching for him.met him,hug him tightly.i really miss him more than anyone else.we talk to each other bout life.he said he MISS me so much.he didn't quiet have the time shower me with all his love that he had kip.and weeks after that,he just..
*cumon shawal dont start it.tears start to shred already sia.
he just left me like that.that point of time when he was awarded to hospital,he desperately wants to meet me.but i couldn't made it.it was such a big mistake for me,feel damn stupid of me.the day after he pass away.and i was like crying and cryin endlessly.never cried like that bad before.argh miss u daddy u r one and only my love.feel so down now.he left,i kissed his forehead and don wanna let go of him..shit damn me..
argh!!hard to carry on... :<